She keyed 400 new vehicles — do you know her?

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It’s a story of vehicle vandalism that made headlines around the world: police in British Columbia are searching for a woman who repeatedly — three times over four months — used a tool to scratch hundreds of new vehicles at two dealerships — Journey Chrysler Jeep Dodge Ram and Journey Approved — in Port Coquitlam. They have video, including a not-bad image of her masked face, and they think she’s driving a 2008-2013 Ford Escape. She is wanted for mischief, a charge that sounds darling but is actually quite serious.

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We’re usually bringing you stories of how expensive auto theft has become in Canada, but this one person has caused a half-million dollars in damages without moving a vehicle even an inch. At a time when dealers are desperate for inventory, taking this many vehicles out of commission is an especially vindictive act. Who would do it?

“In general, vandalism may be motivated by malicious greed, by the wish to draw attention to a particular condition, by a political ideology, by the desire for revenge on a particular person, by frustration, or by misguided playfulness. Whether an act is categorized as vandalism depends on the social and political circumstances surrounding the act, as well as on the connections of the offenders to influential individuals.” That’s from a German study on the U.S. Department of Justice site from 1980. I doubt these fundamental criteria have changed. 

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My guess is that this will turn out to have been perpetrated by someone disgruntled with the outcome of their service visit; I doubt some kind of eco-warrior would have rolled up in an Escape. To revisit the same locations three times over four months takes some stones, and an obvious misunderstanding of how cameras work. Then again, she hasn’t been caught, so what do I know? 

More randomly, Teslas have become popular targets for opportunistic keying in parking lots. This broadcast offers up some footage of people intentionally keying Elon’s EVs, reminding us that there is no profiling who might be a paint scratcher. We tend to associate vandalism with brats spray-bombing buildings or kicking over headstones, but we’re stealing the thunder from everyday folk of all ages who get their jollies making expensive headaches for those they don’t know over something they possibly envy. 

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What everyone needs to remember about Teslas (and increasingly, other brands): they take their own video footage all around the vehicle. While that is raising some privacy issues, don’t it to go away any time soon. Dashcams are cheap and are another way you may be playing a game of Candid Camera, starring you; Tesla just happens to have cameras directly facing down the sides of the vehicle, which means you might as well sign your artwork before you go. 

Damaging this many new vehicles on a dealer lot leads to many other questions, however. Everyone knows dealer inventories are at historic lows right now, and a big chunk of that inventory now needs time-consuming repairs. 

In Ontario, OMVIC and Motor Vehicle Dealer Association (MVDA) require disclosure to future buyers of any damage over $3,000, or if two or more body panels were replaced. Even repairs below that threshold may be considered material and require disclosure. 

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When it comes to repair, bodywork is an art. Chris Wood, a luxury repair specialist and development manager at Leon’s Auto Body in Toronto, saw the video. “It’s horrible because you will need to refinish the panel, but also remove then reinstall parts to do a proper job. There’s blending [with paint on adjacent panels]; it’s a time-consuming job and labour-intensive, and the material costs can be significant,” he says. 

Depending on the level of damage inflicted by whatever tool the masked woman captured on video used (it looks like it might be a paint scraper), could there be an impact in the future on the vehicle after a repair? Wood says, “if repaired properly, they should carry the factory warranty and be the same as if they were not damaged. In my experience, there should be no issue in the future.”

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At a time when shoppers are facing extended wait times for new cars and trucks, many will doubtless accept the vehicles post-repair; the dealer may or may not disclose, but if I’m a purchaser, I’d ask. It might feel like a dorky question, but given the attention the security video has earned, it’s not an unreasonable one. Any disclosable repairs would be warrantied extensively.

As of press time, police have yet to make an arrest. Give the police report a look: “It is clear in the videos that the suspect was deliberately scratching the vehicles one-by-one,” said Corporal Alexa Hodgins of the Coquitlam RCMP. “Our investigators are continuing to follow up on any investigational leads, but are requesting the assistance from the public in identifying the suspect.”

Somebody knows who this is. Mischief, mass-keying, vandalism, property damage; whatever you call it, it’s a pretty low act.